In this blogpost, I would like to talk about communication at the workplace.
There was once my troubled friend was sharing to a group of us some of the unhappiness he was experiencing at work. He was complaining that his superior was really a difficult person and the worst thing is that his superior can get really insulting at times. Among us, there were a couple of them who were already working and they started sharing their grievances as well.
While listening to them, it struck me that this is a common occurrence at the workplace. Then I started wondering about how we were told so often that a good EQ is one of the attributes of a successful person, some would argue it is even more important to possess good EQ than IQ. If this is the case, then why are the people up in the hierarchy often the ones with the attitude problem?
I brought up this question during that same discussion and they commented that these people were not like that when they were fresh in the workforce. I thought that the comment was quite sensible as I observed this quite often in shows and I guess inspirations were drawn from the real world. Then I questioned myself about what exactly is EQ, emotional intelligence quotient? I compared it to IQ, intelligence quotient and thought that IQ, a measure of your intelligence is something that is consistent with time. However, EQ, a measure of the management of your emotions and others’ is however something which does not stay consistent and appears very much like a skill, once attained, you employ it only when you want to.
Hope you can give some of your opinions to enlighten me on this matter.
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This is an interesting discussion, Terence, even with the numerous verb tense problems.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, how is it that people with seemingly little EQ succeed in climbing up the work hierarchy so well?
I'd suggest this: EQ is not the only variable by which workers are judged and promoted. In fact, many variables directly conflict with EQ. Take the ability to "kiss up, kick down." There are some people who are able to very effectively flatter (brown nose) their superiors while treating any of those folks lower on the social ladder unfairly, whether by insulting them, lying about them, misconstruing their words, hiding their accomplishments or taking credit for those, and generally acting without any sign or semblance of EQ. Such characters often rise much higher than their colleagues could ever imagine possible, and some become CEOs, executive board members, and other VIPs of one shade or another --- even parliamentarians and government leaders.
The world takes and gives all kinds.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Sir,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your point of view which revealed a lot of dark truth. The part when you say that the "high flyers" often flatter their superiors, I guess to do it effectively, you would have to possess some form of EQ. The question here would probably be the use of the skill, whether it was for a good cause. So maybe good EQ should not only be associated to be a positive trait, whether it is a positive or negative trait would be determined by how it is utilised. What do you think?
Dear Terrence,
ReplyDeleteyou posted quite an interesting blog post. In this post, you mentioned that the personalities of your friends' superiors "were not like that when they were fresh in the workforce". The change in personalities may be influenced by the increase in workload, responsibility and pressure to succeed. Other possible reasons involve family, money and personal issues. Perhaps, your friends can have a nice afterwork talk with their superiors and ask about the sudden change in their attitudes.
Hey Terrence,
ReplyDeleteI must say I have to disagree with Terry. I do not think the increase in workload, responsibilities or even the pressure to succeed are valid enough reasons to have a change in EQ and hence personality.
In fact, the superiors should put themselves in the shoes of the 'freshies' and realize how hard it would be to adjust to the new environment and work. I think it is the responsibility of any superior to motivate those under them, in the process, creating a conducive working environment. Just a thought!
Cheerz!
Hey Terence,
ReplyDeleteInteresting analysis. Like Dhinesh, I don't think factors that Terry mentioned contributed to your friend's superior's attitude. Such factors can contribute to the superior's attitude, but the attitude change will most likely be a 'phase'
Also, I think it's rather ideal for many superiors to do what Dhinesh mentioned in his comment i.e. put themselves in the 'freshies' shoes. Most will probably say 'it's a cruel world, take it or leave it'
I had this discussion with a friend of mine once. He was very depressed as he got demoted for 'standing up to his boss'. Like your friend, my friend's boss can be insulting, biased, and unrealistic with regards to deadlines and targets. We came to a conclusion that even if there is only one such a person at the top, a promotion is impossible unless you start polishing their shoes.
Here's an emoticon for you! =D
I think Dhinesh's comments reflect an ideal situation in the workplace and I agree that a superior should be as what he described, one with integrity and empathy towards his/her subordinates and who motivates them towards achieving excellence. However, I think Terry's comments are also very relevant. Some people might be so caught up in the "rat race" that they compromise on their beliefs and principles, just to achieve their aims. This is something that we should beware of in the workplace and superiors should critically assess the subordinates' character before recommending them for promotion.
ReplyDeleteI think having a high EQ can lead to positive or negative outcomes, depending on the intention for using it. As Terence mentioned, being able to flatter someone convincingly is a display of some amount of emotional intelligence. On the other hand, resolving a conflict also requires emotional intelligence to understand the emotions of the parties involved, so as to provide an amicable solution. Thus, a high emotional intelligence quotient is definitely a good skill to possess, but when used inappropriately, can lead to negative repercussions. Like IQ, or any other skill in life, we can choose to use EQ for good or bad. Choose wisely!:)
Hi,
ReplyDeleteThanks all for the comments and very fruitful discussion of this topic. I agree with Terry to some extend that increased in workload and pressure led to their change in attitude. But I guess you would agree that the subordinates are usually the ones with greater workload and pressure. I thought probably people are just less motivated to display good EQ to people below them. Anyway thanks once again for the valuable comments. See you guys around.